Breaking Down
by OTP324B21
Summary: Takes off right after 1x10, so spoilers are included. This started off as a one shot but may be expanded the longer we have to wait for season 2.
1. Chapter 1

Cosima hugged the woman close, feeling like her world was turning upside down. Even though the feelings were completely illogical, she was happy Delphine was there. Breathing in the sweet scent of the taller woman's subtle perfume, she wished the words away, the words that kept repeating in her mind.

Intellectual Property

She just wanted to forget everything. Forget that she was a clone, that the woman holding her had been the enemy, and forget that she'd been betrayed. She just wanted to be a student in college being held by that incredibly beautiful new French student she'd met in the lab a few days ago.

" It will be ok, ma chérie." Delphine stroked her back soothingly.

Cosima closed her eyes, fighting back both tears and the urge to cough. Maybe it would all be ok. Maybe they could fight this. Maybe they could…No. She couldn't think of them as a "they." She couldn't afford that, even if she was…

"Cosima?" Delphine pulled back to see troubled brown eyes watching her. "I'm sorry…I…"

Like a force of nature, Cosima was unable to resist silencing her with a kiss. She was dying after all. If she was going to die, she was going to live first. Cosima felt the tear escape her eye as a soft hand reached up to caress her cheek. She just took a minute to enjoy the gentleness, not thinking about how the woman had tore out her heart just the day before.

Pulling away, Delphine leaned her forehead against the woman's, licking her lips. "Cosima…"

"Shhhh." Cosima shook her head. "Please don't." She reached up to trace the woman's lips with a thumb, looking into those eyes that were staring into her. She could see the mixture of sadness and hope. "I'm dying."

Delphine pulled back almost instantly. "What?"

As if on command, she felt the heaviness in her lungs start to overwhelm her breathing. It was like she could feel the fluids collecting and she was just barely able to grab a tissue as her body was overcome by a coughing fit. Each racking cough sent a wave of pain through her chest and back, as if her lungs were turning inside out, unable to get any oxygen. It seemed to go on forever and she just barely got the coughing under control. "Shit." She wiped the blood from her lips, looking up to see concerned eyes looking at her.

Delphine reached out to open the woman's hand, revealing the blood-soaked tissue. "The German…" She stopped as if continuing was a death sentence for the woman.

"We're breaking down." Cosima cleared her throat. "At least I am. There's no scientific explanation, no medical reason. We've run so many tests. I've spent so many hours…" She shook her head. "Katja…the German…she had the same thing." She gathered her thoughts for a minute before explaining everything, from the first time she spoke with the German to the time the sickness developed. She explained the numerous doctors the woman has been to and the testing she did herself.

Delphine bit her bottom lip, listening and waiting for the woman to finish before responding. "Listen to me, Cosima. There are many possible explanations for hemoptysis. Bronchitis… Pneumonia… There could be so many reasons for this." She stopped the protests with her fingertips. "If this is something else…something due to the experiments..we will figure it out together."

Cosima shook her head. "We did so many tests."

With a small smile, Delphine reached out to wipe away a tear, caressing the woman's cheek. "Oh ma petite chérie, please take no offense, but immunology is my field." She traced the woman's eyebrow with a fingertip. "This is what I do. Maybe I can offer some different insights."

"Oh." Cosima looked down. "That's right. You have your PhD." It was like her world shattered again. She was faced with the truth once more that this woman had betrayed her, betrayed the women she'd begun to think of as her sisters, sisters she never had growing up in a house as an only child. When the warm hands captured her face and began to tilt her head up, she resisted.

"Cosima." Delphine struggled with the words that were flying through her mind. "I'm so sorry." She slid down to the ground, kneeling right in front of the woman. "I know there isn't anything I can do to make this up to you." She captured the woman's hands and brushed her lips across them. "But please, Cosima. I don't want to lose you. I…" She shook her head and rested her forehead against the woman's knee, no longer able to look her in the eye.

Reaching out, Cosima ran her fingertips through the wavy blonde hair. Those large puppy dog eyes always cut straight through all the anger and frustration she felt. "Delphine." Those eyes looked up at her and she felt herself wavering. "Come back up here." She pat the couch beside her. "I don't know if I'm dying or not, but I don't want to." She cleared her throat, still tasting the ruminants of blood in her mouth. "I'm really more mad at myself than anything." Her eyes followed the woman as she sat on the couch next to her. "I knew you were going to be my monitor. Sarah kept warning me to stay away." She shook her head. "Somewhere along the line I just let that guard down. Leekie didn't even know Sarah existed." Fingers twined with her own and she returned the gentle squeeze. "Now because of me, he knows about her and Kira. He knows we're aware."

Delphine shook her head. "No, Cosima. You are not to blame." She caressed the soft cheek. "I'm the one that is to blame here. I told Leekie about Sarah and you knowing about the others."

"Forget it." Cosima pat her on the knee before standing up. "We just have to move on." She escaped into the bathroom, reaching for the mouth wash. She looked at her reflection, wishing she didn't see the weak person she was seeing. Leaning against the sink, she rinsed out the blood she tasted, her mind running a thousand miles per hour.

She wasn't sure what she should do. She knew Sarah would tell her to just forget it, that they couldn't take the risk, but she wasn't Sarah. Everything in her wanted to trust the blonde, despite the betrayal. Those eyes just stared into her soul and hit her in a place she never let anyone else into. She was so tired of the conspiracy theories and living in fear of being tested on and other neolution bullshit.

"Cosima?"

Wiping her mouth with a hand towel, Cosima took a deep breath, testing the stability of her lungs before pushing the beads aside. Delphine was there, leaning against the wall just to the side of the doorway.

"Are you alright?"

Cosima nodded, caressing the woman's face before pulling her forward for a kiss. There was no resistance, no hesitance. She was elated to feel the kiss being returned, her desire being met equally by the blonde's usual aggression. She felt the hands slipping around her waist, pulling her close. It was blissfully intoxicating to feel the warmth of the woman's body against hers. Wrapping her arm around the woman's neck, she pulled her even closer. Her clothes suddenly felt way too warm, clinging to her skin.

The heavy door of the loft slid open suddenly. "Oi! No! This is not a crazy freaky Leekie lesbian lounge here." Felix dropped the box of muffins on the table along with his coat. "Great, not only do I have to worry about Sarah and Paul shagging in my bed, but now you two want to defile every other surface."

Given no choice but to break off the kiss, Cosima leaned her forehead against the blonde's, smiling. "We'll continue this later." Another quick kiss and she turned to face Sarah's brother, knowing there was probably going to be a lot of questions. Any further conversation was interrupted by the ringing of Felix's phone.

"Oi oi…Sarah…Sarah calm down!"

Cosima moved over to the table where Felix was on the phone.

"No…no I haven't heard from…what?" He paused listening for a minute. "Holy shit." He dropped into his chair. "I'll come…you have to…but…" He dropped his head into his hand, closing his eyes. "Yeah…yeah…whatever you want." He looked up and met Cosima's eyes. "Yeah…Ok, call me if you hear something."

When he set the phone down, Cosima sat down on one of the chairs. "What's going on?"

"It's Kira." Felix looked at the screen of his phone as if wishing it to ring again with happier news. "Kira is missing."


	2. Chapter 2

Cosima kicked the blanket off as she looked at the clock on the bedside table. Squinting her eyes she could just make out the 4:23. With a sigh she rolled onto her side, running her hand over the empty half of the bed.

After Sarah had returned to Felix's loft things had escalated quickly. It was obvious that in Sarah's frantic state, Delphine's presence was causing more of a distraction than helping. Although they both wanted to help, neither woman knew the area well enough to even offer suggestions for where Kira could have been taken. They had left around 2 am, choosing to gather their luggage from their respective hotels and getting accommodations under a different name so as not to be tracked by Leekie.

She wanted to object when Delphine requested two rooms, but she didn't. She was still so confused by everything. She wasn't used to being so out of control. When Delphine had walked her to her room and gave her a chaste kiss goodnight on the cheek, she wanted to scream so loud that it would wake the entire hotel. Instead she had just stripped out of her clothes and fell on the bed, curling in a ball.

But sleep wouldn't come. For almost 2 hours she'd just laid there, unable to sleep, unable to stop her mind from reeling. Her chest felt a little heavy but at least she wasn't coughing up blood at the moment. "Shit." She picked up her clone phone, checking for a message from Alison or Sarah but there were none. She switched to her normal phone, seeing a couple emails from professors and classmates. She rolled her eyes at an odd list of questions from Scott. There was a text from her mother asking if she was going to be coming home for Christmas.

Her parents. She didn't really know where she stood with them. Were they a part of this? Were they just victims like herself? That was probably the worst part of all this. She didn't know who to trust any more. True she didn't get along particularly well with her mother, but she was very close with her father. People always commented that it was like she was a miniature clone of him. Funny now and yet not funny at all.

Knock knock knock

Sniffling, Cosima checked the time again, seeing just a few minutes had passed. Another knock and she sighed, rolling out of bed and slipping on a large t-shirt that was just long enough to keep her modest before going to the door. Checking the peephole she bit her lip as she opened the door. Delphine stood there, barefooted and wearing yoga pants and a knit sweater that hung off her shoulder. "Hey..."

"I can't sleep." Delphine fidgeted with the hem of her sweater.

With a small smile, Cosima grabbed the woman's sweater, pulling her in the room. Not waiting for whatever protests might arise, she pulled the woman close, closing the door and meeting her lips in a demanding kiss. After a brief shocked moment, she felt the kiss returned, hands settling on her hips and pressing her against the wall.

She felt her own heart racing as lips broke off from the kiss and trailed a path of fire down her neck. She tangled her fingers in the wavy blonde hair, tipping her head back to allow the woman more access. Her body felt like it was overheating being covered by even just the t-shirt. Her lips were captured once more by the taller woman's.

Breaking off the kiss suddenly, Delphine leaned her forehead against the shorter woman's, gasping for air. "Cosima..."

"Shhhh." Cosima spun their bodies around so she was pinning the blonde to the wall, slipping her hands up the woman's hips, dragging the sweater up as she moved. "Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much?" Tugging the woman's sweater off, she grinned at seeing the woman wasn't wearing anything beneath it. It occurred to her that she had not seen the woman naked before. The first and last time they'd been together, she'd allowed their underwear to stay on to make the woman a little more comfortable. Now however, she felt like she needed more.

Feeling a little self conscious, Delphine fought the urge to cover herself and instead pulled the woman to her, meeting her lips in a kiss.

Smiling against the soft lips, Cosima slipped her fingertips in the edge of the woman's yoga pants and into the edge of her underwear. "I know we have a lot to talk about...but this is definitely not the time for talking." She kissed her way down the woman's throat, her hands caressing the woman's hips as she slipped both layers of clothes down sleek thighs. Following the material down the long legs, she found herself kneeling before the now completely naked woman.

Placing a soft kiss on the woman's thigh, Cosima dragged her fingernails up the pale skin of the woman's legs. She studied each inch of skin, taking in every bit of perfection. For a minute, she admired the small patch of perfectly manicured blonde curls before placing a kiss right above it. Looking up, she found hazel eyes watching her intently and she could almost feel the lust radiating from them. With a grin, she tapped the inside of the blonde's knee, thankful the woman understood the message when she spread her legs wider.

Having never been in this position before, Delphine wasn't entirely sure what to expect. The anticipation nearly killed her as a feather touch slid between her folds, slowly teasing her until two fingers slid into her. She sighed in relief as she leaned her head back against the wall, closing her eyes and enjoying the slow buildup of passion as the fingers began to slip in and out. She found her hips moving on their own accord, thrusting just slightly against the rhythmic push and pull of the woman's fingers. Her body was like putty in the woman's hands and she didn't even think twice when the brunette positioned one of her legs over her shoulder, assisting in supporting her weight. It also allowed her to spread herself wider, giving the shorter woman better access.

The last thing she expected was the hot tongue that slid against her center, sending a white hot bolt of pleasure through her gut. Her eyes shot open and she looked down to see mischievous brown eyes watching her closely. The tongue moved against her again in a long broad stroke and the fingers slipped into her at a wickedly slow pace to match the tongue stroke. "Merde..." Delphine clawed at the wall, not finding anything to grab onto.

Cosima smiled against the wet flesh momentarily before changing her motions to a firm circular motion. she slipped a third finger into the woman and was rewarded with a high pitched whimper.

Each brush of the woman's tongue sent a spike of pleasure through her and she tangled one hand in the woman's dreads, pulling her closer. The hot tongue became firm and insatiable, moving against her almost frantically as the fingers pumped in and out of her. "Oh, oui, baisez-moi!"

Feeling the shaking in the woman's body, Cosima knew she didn't have much time left. She could tell the woman's legs were about to give out but she was so lost in heaven she didn't care. She was mesmerized by the woman who was so enthralled with pleasure. She fought to keep in rhythm with the hips that had begun to roll against her ministrations.

"Vous êtes le ciel et la terre." Every breath was a moan as Delphine felt the pressure building up inside her. She lost any ability to think of anything except for the white hot pleasure that just pushed her over the edge.

Cosima knew it was coming as the blonde's muscles clamped around her fingers and the loud stuttering whimper that came from the woman who's whole body tensed momentarily before shuddering uncontrollably. Sensing the danger of her position she slipped the woman's thigh off her shoulder just as the blonde's other leg gave out and she slowly slid to the ground. Cosima slipped the fingers out of the quivering blonde and switched to slowly stroking the small bundle of nerves.

Now seated on the carpeted floor, Delphine weakly grabbed her wrist. "Non..." She whimpered pulling the hand away. "Too much. I need a minute." Instead, she pulled the woman forward for a deep kiss, trying to relay her gratitude. Her brows drew together for a minute at the taste before her muddled brain made her realize that she was tasting herself on the woman's lips and tongue.

Cosima grinned, moving so she was straddling the woman's legs, wrapping her arms around the blonde's neck to kiss her more enthusiastically. Eventually she broke off, both breathing heavily as she rested her forehead against the blonde's. "In case you were wondering..." She caressed the sweat-dampened skin, kissing bruised lips quickly. "I love you and I do trust you. " Another quick kiss. "But if you break my heart again..."

This time Delphine cut her off with a kiss. "Never again." She slid her fingertips up the strong thighs on either side of her. "I love you too much to lie to you like that again." Almost reverently she flattened her palms against the heated skin of the woman, sliding them up the bare hips and waist, realizing she wasn't wearing anything beneath the tshirt.

"You love me?" Cosima cleared her throat as the hands began the slide up her abs and just barely grazed her breasts. She could see the hesitance in the blonde's face and gave her an inquisitive look.

Delphine bit her bottom lip. "I do love you, but I do not want to disappoint you..."

Suddenly it clicked and Cosima mentally slapped herself. "Delphine...I said those things to hurt you. It wasn't untrue because it did show that you hadn't been with a woman before, but that isn't a bad thing. I made it sound bad, but you're totally amazing even if you don't know what you're doing." To prove a point, she stripped off her own t-shirt, tossing it to the side. She looked down at the blonde's hands that were resting on her rib cage as if afraid to go higher. With a devilish grin, Cosima grabbed both wrists and pulled the woman's hands higher till they were covering her breasts. "Your hesitance reveals your inexperience."

Delphine could not take her eyes off the soft flesh beneath her fingers. She could feel the hard nipples against the palms of her hands and she experimentally moved her hand in a circular motion, getting rewarded with a small gasp. Seeing this as an approval, she began to caress the woman's breasts with confidence.

Growling softly, Cosima grabbed the woman's right hand. "Lesson two." She led the woman's hand down her body and between her legs. She covered each finger with her own, guiding the hand exactly where she wanted it.


End file.
